I’ve narrowed down the reasons why social networks drive me mad. It’s a bit of a quandary as I enjoy the use of social networks. But it’s safe to say that I want to quit them on a daily bases, as well.
First the good.
I like keeping up on what’s happening within my network of friends, family and news feeds. I have an eclectic group of friends that have varying political views, social views, senses of humor and lifestyles. Keeping up with what they are doing and thinking helps me better understand my world, keep a level headed perspective and appreciate all that I have, even during those moments when I don’t think I have much.
I aslo don’t watch television news, so I depend on my social networks to browse headlines that interest me. There’s a downside and an upside to this. The upside is that I can choose the information I want to digest. The downside is that I sometimes don’t get the entire picture and miss stories that are relevant to my world. However, I am able to filter out the fear mongering and hyperbole that is usually associated with broadcast media. I should say that for the most part I am able to filter. There are those occasions when those type of stories sneak through.
Now for the bad.
Van Gogh, the King of Selfies.
I hate selfies. I am of the belief that a selfie is a mental disorder. I’m not talking about a group selfie with your friends or family. I’m talking about that bathroom selfie, car selfie, sad face selfie, pouting selfie, on my way to the doctor selfie. It screams of desperation and desperation is one of the least attractive attributes of a human being. More on that in a moment.
Note: I’m using the word “hate” here and just so there are no misunderstandings, I mean hate in the harshest manner. If you want to tell me that no one should hate and I should choose a softer word that is more appropriate, send me an email and I’ll tell you what you can do with your suggestion.
I hate the incomplete, open ended status or tweet. The following examples are real:
“My life is over.”
“Nothing like having a doctor give you horrible news.”
“Is it even worth it anymore?”
“Don’t even ask.”
and of course
These type of statuses and tweets are followed by a slew of concern from friends and followers, questions concerning the writer’s well-being, encouragement, etc. They also rarely get a response from the original poster.
Selfies and status baiting aside, there is the one thing that absolutely drives me bonkers, the one thing that stirs within me a blackness, a deep seeded loathing that makes me scream at my laptop, and it is the tweets or statuses that declare despair or extreme joy based on a current relationship status or lack thereof.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about someone announcing their breakup with their girlfriend or boyfriend. I’m not talking about someone who is in the middle of a divorce. I’m also not talking about an engagement announcement or a wedding anniversary. Those are noteworthy and understandable.
So, what am I talking about?
I’m talking about the young lady that posts, “I wish I had someone to hold.” I’m talking about the young man that tweets, “All the good women are taken.” I’m talking about the young lady that posts a selfie of her and her new beau with “My life is finally complete” written above it. I’m talking about the young man that posts a photo of his new girlfriend that says, “I don’t know how I lived without you all these years.”
But it doesn’t stop there. These same poor souls go on for weeks, months, even years posting and tweeting how incomplete, sad, or unlivable their lives are. Or they go on for the same amount of time posting and tweeting how amazing and fulfilling their lives are.
Of course, it all changes when they find someone or lose someone, but it’s all the same, good or bad.
What do I scream at my laptop? I scream, “Where’s your self worth?”
Self worth is lacking to such an alarming degree among people that it’s frustrating and sad. Yes, we all want to be loved. We’re human beings. We write poems, stories, books, make movies, paint pictures, sculpt and write songs about love. It’s with us in the morning when we wake up and it’s with us when we go to bed. Love motivates us in just about everything. It’s what separates us from the animals.
Exactly what am I getting at here?
You, the desperate one longing for love, are refusing to accept the love that is already around you. In other words, unless you are a complete asshole, you are drenched with love.
You are not finally worthy of someone’s love because you have a new girlfriend or boyfriend. You are not unworthy of someone’s love because you broke up, either. You are still you either way.
And about desperation…
Desperation breeds disappointment. It raises expectations that most cannot meet. Then it lowers your expectations to dangerous levels, leading to further disappointment. A desperate man or woman has never found true happiness or a way out of desperation. They are always desperate unless they choose not to be any longer. Circumstances normally never cure desperation. Circumstances only suppress it.
So, here’s my advice to those desperate souls, the ones longing for love:
- Learn to love yourself, but keep it to yourself. No one wants to hear how much you love being you. There’s a reason Kanye West gets on everybody’s nerves.
- Learn to appreciate the good in your life now. Most of us take for granted the good we have in our lives from time to time. Most of us are also able to realize we’re taking the goodness for granted. You, however, are not, do not, cannot. Take a step back and look at the good and behold.
- Learn to accept the things you cannot change. You cannot control or change another person. You cannot change your race. You cannot change your past. You cannot see the future. You cannot change the weather. You cannot change how tall you are or how short you are. You cannot change your nationality. You cannot change your age. You cannot change the fact that you are going to die some day. You cannot change how strangers behave or react. Learn it and accept it.
- Understand that the odds are in your favor. There are 7 billion people in this world. There are over 300 million people in the United States. In my town alone, there are 90 thousand people. The odds of you finding someone to love and someone to love you are great. If it’s not working with one, move on. As the saying goes, “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
- Understand that life is short. Too short. You can either spend it being miserable or you can enjoy it and live completely. Stop letting others decide how you will feel each day. You make the choice.
- Finally, if you can’t do any of these things, then please, for the love of all that is holy, quit your public whining. At the very least, gain some perspective. While you’re crying that no one loves you or shouting to the world that your life is now awesome because you have a girlfriend, there are people in the world wondering if today will be the day someone cuts off their heads. Perspective is a beautiful thang.
That’s the rant. Thanks for reading and feel free to add your two cents in the comments.